Who Cares?

Every morning, as part of my meditation practice, I write names in my journal of people I know who have special joys or concerns. This list includes families I know who are caring for someone living with dementia. Theirs is a special world and deserves our thoughtful, prayerful consideration.

At various times over the years, I have been a part of teams who cared for those with dementia in institutional settings, so I have some appreciation for their special needs. But for families who are providing home care for an elderly loved one, the 24/7 demands and challenges are so much greater. There is no end of shift, and no carefree holidays or long weekends "away."

Those individuals living with dementia are no longer bound by reality, but in their minds they may roam freely through space and time. Sometimes these journeys are satisfying, sometimes frightening. Some flights of fancy are childlike and whimsical, while others can lead to danger, frustration or anger. Sometimes there may be an intersection with reality, but reality's grip may be only fleeting and one never knows where the next transition will lead.

It is the loving caregivers who have taken on the responsibility to keep the loved one safe and, to the degree possible, comfortable. This responsibility is sometimes greatly complicated if the person with failing faculties isn't cooperative, or perhaps doesn't even recognize the caregivers.

The very term "caregiver" is so appropriate! These are not "caretakers." They are not maintenance workers who simply perform tedious chores, though there may be plenty of that. They give care, often for one who cared for them many years ago. It is a challenging and heroic endeavor deserving of our deepest respect...and our care.

Obama Gives Hun Sen a Road Map to the Future

President Barack Obama has given Prime Minister Hun Sen a road map for the way forward to even greater glory: release imprisoned broadcaster Mam Sonando, allow opposition politicians to function freely (e.g. allow Sam Rainsy to return to the Cambodian political arena) and establish an independent election commission.

Hun Sen can easily accomplish these goals with no danger to his political future. Indeed, by following President Obama's advice, he can assure his standing as a respected elder statesman.

It should be noted here that President Obama could have raised a number of really difficult cases such as impunity for murder and corruption involving some Cambodian officials. The fact that the president appears to have stressed relatively simple matters suggests he was making a serious proposal rather than throwing up an impenetrable barrier to improved relations.

Mam Sonando represents no political threat to the Prime Minister. Sonando is a respected public figure, but not a political force. He is best known as a popular independent broadcaster, a human rights activist and something of a social gadfly. He was arrested and convicted of "insurrection" in a bizarre case involving the government's mishandling of a land dispute in which a 14-year-old girl was killed by security forces. Sonando's involvement seems to have been his radio station's broadcast of issues surrounding the land dispute and may have been an awkward attempt to divert public attention from the killing.

Sam Rainsy, on the other hand, has been a political opponent of the Prime Minister for years, but he has little popularity with the vast majority of the electorate. He is an overseas Khmer (he holds French citizenship) and is most popular with Khmer abroad and with small pockets of urban voters and former Khmer Rouge who may be enthralled by his anti-Vietnamese rhetoric. His party currently holds only 26 seats in the 123-seat National Assembly. All opposition parties combined hold only 33 seats.

If Rainsy were to return to Cambodia to participate in next year's election, it is extremely unlikely his new combined opposition party - The Cambodia National Rescue Party - would fare much better than his previous escapades. Indeed, given Rainsy's autocratic leadership style - he does not play well with others - the new party may well implode if he is in the midst of the process. The new party has some formidable and highly regarded personalities, but if they have to function in Rainsy's shadow, their charisma will be greatly diluted. It should be noted that President Obama did not mention Sam Rainsy by name, but referred obliquely to the need for or opposition parties “to be able to operate.” President Obama was not indicating US support for any candidate, but for the democratic process.

In 2009, Rainsy was convicted of forgery and destruction of public property in an incident related to a dispute over the border demarcation between Cambodia and Viet-Nam. Some argue the charges were politically motivated, but the physical removal of border markers and the publication and circulation of maps at variance with national policy were also politically motivated and would certainly be a matter for legal action anywhere. Rainsy is now in self-imposed exile and faces a twelve-year prison sentence if he returns to Cambodia.

Prime Minister Hun Sen has the option of requesting Royal pardons for Mam Sonando and Sam Rainsy. Such pardons would certainly be seen as the gestures of a self-confident leader – and some would see them as strokes of political genius.

The issue of the composition of the election commission is somewhat more complicated, but certainly well within the capacity of the Prime Minister and his colleagues. As the Cambodian Peoples' Party will easily win nationwide in free and fair elections, why not demonstrate that? In democracies, elections are won by campaigning on the rights and legitimate aspirations of the people, not by rigging the process. President Obama is a perfect role model for that point.

It must be humiliating for Prime Minister Hun Sen, who was seeking a non-permanent seat for Cambodia on the UN Security Council, to now be seen as the odd man out in ASEAN – upstaged most recently by President Obama's nod to Burmese President Thein Sein for the ongoing reforms there. Hun Sen must also be concerned about the growing influence of China in Cambodia and President Obama has given him an easy way to demonstrate to the world Cambodia is not in China's pocket, but is a legitimate, developing democracy and independent nation open to improved relations with the U.S. as well as improved standing in ASEAN and the wider community of nations.

Bill Herod

Leadership in the Blood

For the last several years, it has been my privilege to work among the indigenous Bunong people of Cambodia’s remote Mondulkiri province (bordering Viet-Nam). The Bunong have their own language and culture quite distinct from the ethnic Khmer. In the small province town of Sen Monorom, we have a coffee and crafts shop, a boarding school dormitory, a community center and other projects.

A few days ago, two Bunong men carried their very sick father in a hammock slung from a long pole between them from their remote village to the hospital here in Sen Monorom. They walked for ten hours through the jungle, along the road and into town.

As the sick man was carried in front of our shop, our Bunong staff rushed out to see what was going on. On learning the situation, they immediately pooled their pocket money to buy food and water for the man and his family then went to the hospital to see how he was doing.

When they returned from their first visit to the hospital, we discussed the case. Heng, the 23-year-old designer at our shop, told me the sick man was “very old.” Remembering that I am nearing retirement, she quickly added, “Well, not as old as you, but old.” As age is revered here, I accepted the compliment and realized this was a young woman with a mission: she was going to do what she could to help the poor, elderly patient and his frightened family.

When the staff realized that cash from tips at our shop could be used in such cases, they went off to the market and bought a sleeping mat, a mosquito net, a blanket, bottled water, fruit juice, rice soup and other small items the patient and his family would need during their stay at the hospital.

Heng also realized that the patient’s family did not speak Khmer well, so now she serves – several times each day - as translator between the family and the Khmer medical staff. When one of the Khmer male health workers started yelling at the desperately ill patient for waiting until he was so sick to come to the hospital, Heng cut him off: “Hey, this man is sick. He came here for your help. Now help him!”

When she learned that the patient was severely anemic, Heng organized the staff from our shop (including this old man) as well as students from the boarding school to go to the hospital to be tested to see if any could donate blood. Some had the wrong blood type and some were too young to donate but their willingness to do so was really exciting. Heng told the technician at the hospital to call on us if they needed any of our blood types for future patients.

After several days, compatible donors were found. First, a colleague found a matching donor – also a Bunong student – and he gave blood but a second unit was needed. Hiep, the student manager of our shop, had been visiting his village during the crisis. When he returned, Heng immediately took him to the hospital where his blood was determined to be the right type and he gave the second unit.

At this writing (ten days after his arrival at the hospital), the patient’s condition continues to improve steadily though he may need surgery when he is stronger. Heng and other members of our staff visit several times each day and we have set up a phone link with the family at the hospital so they can reach us easily if they need assistance.

Heng will leave her job at our shop next month to become a kindergarten teacher in Bousra – much more responsibility in a much more remote location for much less pay. Why? “Because I want to be a teacher,” she says proudly. We are trying to put together a small project for her to teach design and sewing to village women there when she is not teaching children. That should give her a bit more income and make even better use of her considerable and varied skills.

Several years ago two development workers were driving in a car on a deserted Cambodian country road in the heat of the early afternoon. A motorbike with two men was approaching in the distance. Suddenly, the motorbike driver lost control and the two men were sent skidding across the gravel and came to a stop in a bruised and bloody heap. The driver of the car – a prominent “leadership trainer” much in demand - simply sped off leaving the two injured men in a cloud of dust to fend for themselves.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. identified three types of leaders: those who prepare the way, those who show the way and those who stand in the way.

Leadership training can be a valid activity but let’s not overlook the fact that there are natural leaders all around us – and thoughtful, conscientious people who will follow them. Let’s spend more time identifying these leaders and helping them get the resources they need to do the work they can do best. Most importantly, let’s don’t stand in their way!