Who Cares?

Every morning, as part of my meditation practice, I write names in my journal of people I know who have special joys or concerns. This list includes families I know who are caring for someone living with dementia. Theirs is a special world and deserves our thoughtful, prayerful consideration.

At various times over the years, I have been a part of teams who cared for those with dementia in institutional settings, so I have some appreciation for their special needs. But for families who are providing home care for an elderly loved one, the 24/7 demands and challenges are so much greater. There is no end of shift, and no carefree holidays or long weekends "away."

Those individuals living with dementia are no longer bound by reality, but in their minds they may roam freely through space and time. Sometimes these journeys are satisfying, sometimes frightening. Some flights of fancy are childlike and whimsical, while others can lead to danger, frustration or anger. Sometimes there may be an intersection with reality, but reality's grip may be only fleeting and one never knows where the next transition will lead.

It is the loving caregivers who have taken on the responsibility to keep the loved one safe and, to the degree possible, comfortable. This responsibility is sometimes greatly complicated if the person with failing faculties isn't cooperative, or perhaps doesn't even recognize the caregivers.

The very term "caregiver" is so appropriate! These are not "caretakers." They are not maintenance workers who simply perform tedious chores, though there may be plenty of that. They give care, often for one who cared for them many years ago. It is a challenging and heroic endeavor deserving of our deepest respect...and our care.